THE POOR COUTURE: A Plea

Dear affordable clothing manufacturers and retailers,

It has come to my attention that a plague has swept across the world of affordable clothing. As a self-proclaimed shopaholic, I feel that it is my duty to inform you of this ubiquitous tragedy and to beg you to put an end to it. So, if you care for your loyal shoppers at all, please heed my advice: stop trying too hard.

Enough is enough. Do you know how many nearly perfect shirts I've rejected because of some irreconcilable flaw? Do you know how many dresses I've denied thanks to over-embelishment? Do you know how many shoes I've snubbed due to their unfathomable degree of tackiness? Do you?

Stop with the sequins. Forget the fringe. No more neons. All of these things can be fabulous if done with a certain amount of restraint-- of which, I'm sorry to say, you lack.

A word of advice: don't try to do too much with one item. If you are going to make a trendy piece, please avoid trend overkill by picking just ONE trend to focus on. Yes, ruffles are trendy, but not when they're made of leather, coated with sequins and bordered by zippers. No one wants to look like franken-trend.

The time has come to make changes in affordable clothing. Fashion is starting to overcome budget boundaries and is becoming more and more accessible to the financially-challenged. Although this is a positive improvement, set backs, such as incessant tackiness, are disappointing.

Please, please, please just stick to the basics. Your shoppers are not stupid. We know that we're not paying $10 for the best-made shirt in all of fashion history. We know that those $20 "leather" boots only look chic from at least a 3 foot distance. We know what we're paying for, and we know what we're not paying for.

To make my point for clear, I've included some evidence of the atrocities you have created (for your sake, I will not name names) :